apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
its not stalking. its research.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
