Where are you?
In a non slutty way
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
