You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
