i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
