Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
