Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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