this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
