he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
