dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
