Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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