I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize