If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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