Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
