Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
