I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
