3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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