You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
