its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
