If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
