There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize