My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
