I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
