Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she pinky promised me she was 18
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
