I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
