i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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