Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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