I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize