As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
