he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
