You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
