eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize