Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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