I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
