what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
