apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
