I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
