I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
