How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
