My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize