The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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