Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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