i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
