she was so not down for the gang bang
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
