ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
