Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
