Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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