She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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