it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
