You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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