What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
