why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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