dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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