Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
