sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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