sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
