Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
