I want to walk on stilts...naked
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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