either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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