Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
