Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
