hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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