I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
