New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
