After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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