Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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