IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
