We're facebook friends in real life
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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