end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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