You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize