I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just tell him i said nine months
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
