I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
barbara walters just said penis...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
false alarm, still single
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